Four months ago, it was hard to smile. It was hard to picture a day that would make me smile again. My future looked bleak, my life felt uncertain - unwanted change was in front of me. It wasn’t that I feared the uncertain, I just didn’t want to welcome it. I’m usually one to enjoy change, but this time was different because it meant I had to accept that I was on the brink of failure. Ever since I decided to take on Sticky’s full time in 2014, failure was never part of our vocabulary. We’ve learned valuable lessons, yes, but failing the entire business was never and never will be our destiny. Giving up a part of my lifestyle to survive my business - this humble pill was a hard one to swallow.
I’ve always managed to train my brain to think that everything was going to be ok and it got myself out of most situations, but this time was different. No matter how hard I tried to fight the changes that had to be made, they were inevitable for the crucial survival of not only my business (little did I realize it at that time) but also for my own sanity.
Deep in my heart, as much as I denied it, I knew I needed this season of change. I needed to adjust, re-asses and make the small sacrifices needed for the greater goal. Once I opened my heart to the situation God laid out before me, I slowly started to understand his plans for me and they weren’t so bad after all. It’s always at the point when you’r ready to give up, when God’s loving hands swoop in, saves you and reminds you of His presence. This is what He did with me.
Here I am now - 4 months later - My heart feels full again. I’ve encountered moments big and small that have brought me joy. I can laugh because it’s funny, I can socialize because I’m not bogged down from stress, I can work out because I’m not tired from sleepless nights and most of all I can smile again because life just feels a little bit lighter. God has strategically placed people old and new into my life that I didn’t even know I needed.
If you’re struggling, now is not the time to give up - it’s the time to keep showing up! I didn’t understand it at the time, but everyday, I showed up to work. I showed up if not for me, at least for my employees, for my parents for my brother. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I stuck to my WHY, and eventually everything started to take it’s own shape, and my situation started to reveal its purpose to me. I may not be at 100% just yet, but I know for sure I can genuinely smile with a happier heart than the one from a few months ago. I love ya’ll - keep going.
